Ulcer

Would it make me wicked lame if I ended up getting an ulcer due to the stress of following the Bruins in the playoffs this year?

Yeah, probably... but I think it might happen anyway.

Game six. Tonight. Must win. Must Win.

My step son has a baseball game that won't end before the Bruins start tonight so I am going to miss some of the first period. That might be for the best. I don't expect to enjoy watching tonight's game. I expect to be way too stressed out to have fun. Maybe if they go up 10-0 in the first period i might relax a little bit... a little bit. Probably not though. There is no such thing as a safe lead when a team with the choking pedigree of the Bruins plays a team with the offensive skills of the Lightning. The closest Boston can come to having a safe lead is if they are up by some number of goals when the clock runs out on the third period. In other words, if there is still game to be played, the lead is not safe. Ever.

Out in the Western Conference the third round came to an end last night. Vancouver eliminated San Jose in double overtime in game five. I was really rooting for San Jose last night. Not so much because I picked them to win (NEVER PICK SAN JOSE TO WIN, you moron) but because I wanted them to extend the series. I was hoping they would go to seven games and beat the holy hell out of each other. Ryan Kesler left the game in the second period with an apparent leg injury. I got really excited. If he's out and we win our series and face Vancouver they will be that much easier to beat! I thought the same in game four when Joe Thornton went out for San Jose. Kill each other, you Western Conference Finalists. Beat each other to a pair of collective pulps! Make it easier on the team that comes out of the East... assuming it's the Bruins. Should the Bruins blow their series lead and not get to the finals I want Vancouver to utterly destroy Tampa Bay... but let's not get to down yet... Cautious Optimism is the key for us Bruins fans, still.

So what did injured Ryan Kesler do after leaving the game in the second period? Oh nothing, he just came back and scored the game tying goal in the final seconds of the third period, forcing the overtime where the Canucks eventually won. Dumb, stupid, ridiculously tough hockey player. Jerk.

Back to the Bruins. It's only 9:00am hear in the Eastern Time zone, and already I am feeling the stress. This is nuts. I feel ridiculous. Part of me is just plain embarrassed. Another part of me is freaking out, thinking START THE DAMN GAME NOW RIGHT NOW SCREW TELEVISION PLAY THE GAME NOW RIGHT NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!

You see my internal struggle, I'm sure.

Anyway... no stupid penalties (looking at you Marchand and Seguin and yes even you Chara). No stupid turnovers (still, eternally looking at you Kaberle). No defensive breakdowns (looking at you Boychuck). Cut down on those odd man rushes. Give Tim Thomas all the help you can. Thomas, cover up those rebounds and limit their second chances. If you have to play like a god on Earth again then the defense is letting you down. Hopefully you won't have to play like a god on Earth, but if you do need to, it would be nice if you could do it once again. We all know you can. You are The Man after all. Krejci/Lucic/Hornton line, play like we all know you can. Play like the first line should. Bergeron... just keep doing what you're doing. You're the best skater on the ice for us in every situation and you make it look easy. Just keep plugging along.

Most of all, and I can't stress this enough...

PLEASE DON'T LOSE! I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER GAME SEVEN! I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!

Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!
Go Bruins!